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9/8/2009
Burri: Capitalism is evil and therefore cannot be regulated
Michael Moore for President! What? Michael Moore? The documentary filmmaker? The uber-liberal who cheered on a Category 4 hurricane because it was supposed to hit New Orleans on the same day the Republican National Convention began?
Yes, that Michael Moore. Because, in his newest documentary, he shows us the way to keep capitalism strong:
Capitalism is evil. That is the conclusion U.S. documentary maker Michael Moore comes to in his latest movie "Capitalism: A Love Story," which premieres at the Venice film festival Sunday. Okay: I know what you're thinking. "Capitalism is evil?" That's not a pro-capitalism message! That's Michael Moore, the liberal propagandist, promoting socialism.
I know what else you're thinking: hey, Burri, lay off the booze until you're done writing for the day. But no, bear with me. Reading ahead a couple more paragraphs:
"Capitalism is an evil, and you cannot regulate evil," the two-hour movie concludes. You cannot regulate evil. Capitalism equals evil. Therefore, you cannot regulate capitalism.
Damn straight. You can't regulate it. Can. Not. It doesn’t work! So you might as well quit trying.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is perfect. It gives liberals what they really want: the chance to be victimized. It gives conservatives what they really want: economic freedom. And just think about how much fun it will be!
We can get them – liberals, "progressives," those who want to punish the producers and redistribute the wealth (while we've got wealth to redistribute) – we can get them to stop mucking around in our cash registers, and our balance sheets, and in the free market…just by being who they already think we are.
By practicing capitalism. By finding something that people are willing to pay for, getting some of it, and then selling it to them. And then doing it some more. Evil! And you can't regulate evil – Moore himself said so!
I love this plan. In the words of the immortal Jayne Cobb: "Shiny. Let's be bad guys."
Unfortunately – or, more likely, fortunately – I continued reading the article, and you won't be surprised to learn that there's more to this. The very next paragraph:
"You have to eliminate it and replace it with something that is good for all people…" Eliminate evil, Moore says, sounding for all the world like a George W. Bush speechwriter circa 2002. Go figure: usually a liberal as notorious as Moore would be perfectly willing to accommodate evil. You know: it's just some kind of misunderstanding. We're really at fault. Not them. If we'd only listen more, these things wouldn't happen.
But not, it turns out, when the "evil" at hand is the engine for the most powerful economy the world has ever known.
So let's give Moore credit for, at least, recognizing that basic truth. You can’t regulate evil – you have to stamp evil out. Corner it with its own arrogance and then feed it the business end of your lightsaber. That’s what Moore really means – don’t regulate capitalism: kick down its doors and drag it into the street, through the screaming mobs of rock-throwing proletariats (just hope there isn’t a Tea Party protest anywhere nearby) and throw it off the nearest cliff.
And, with a little luck and the help of thousands of corporately-owned movie theaters around the country (if not the world), Moore will be able to get that message out. Educate the oppressed masses in time to save them from the evils of the economic system that makes it possible for a grown man to make a living criticizing that economic system.
And, hopefully, also make enough money to pay his investors back.
Lance Burri blogs regularly via his site, The TrogloPundit.
COMMENTS
Lance;
I want to severely criticize you for writing this article. You should have put quotation marks around the word "documentary."
Ken Van Doren (Tue Sep 08 10:41:35 2009)
Actually, if you use the word, "mockumentory," you don't need quotes.
Duke (Tue Sep 08 12:07:03 2009)
Duke
Thanx for an acceptable alternate word. Did not think of it.
Ken Van Doren (Tue Sep 08 14:14:46 2009)
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