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10/13/2009
Burri: Kids... the joys and blessings
I remember a comedian, years ago, talking about his infant daughter. He understood now, he said, why God makes kids cute. So we won't kill them.
Later, I added: God makes babies cute so we won't kill them, and then turns them into teenagers so we're not sorry to see them leave.
That's a joke. The reality is a little different. We're learning that in my house: our oldest daughter is a high school senior, trying to pick a college to attend next year.
Yes, I'm old enough to have a daughter that age. No, really. I know: you can't believe it. Trust me. I'm older than I look.
Back to the daughter. The schools she's looking at are…well, they're far enough away that we won't see her much, but not so far that we can't get to her. But still too far to see her much.
Kind of a mixed blessing.
On the one hand, the wife and I have enjoyed watching our children grow up, for more than the usual sappy reasons. As they've grown older, they've required less of us. Oh, sure, in some ways they need more. But not in the 24-hour-a-day, keep an eye on them all the time sort of way. They still can't remember to pick up their shoes. Ever. But we no longer have to pack like Sherpas just for a quick trip to the store.
As they graduate from high school and move out, that effect will snowball. The box of cereal I open today will still be there tomorrow. If we pick up the living room, it'll stay picked up. We can up and go if we want, and no worries.
On the other hand…
…well, you know how it goes. You never know what you've got until it's gone.
But it's not just that. There's things I want them to know. To understand. About money, for instance: don't take the student loans, if you can avoid it. Work part-time through college. It's not that hard.
Learn the magic of compound interest! I've even made them an offer: if they put a thousand dollars into a Roth IRA (or similar investment vehicle) by their 19th birthdays, I'll match it. It'll teach them how easy it is to save a little bit each week; how valuable money is when it's invested early. And it'll give them some small amount, at least, to build on.
A lot more than I'd invested by that age. That's for sure.
Get a degree that's also a job, so you can make a living once you've got it. But don't think you're stuck in that career forever. Enjoy these years. You're young and free: have an adventure! But don't stop working toward something, and don't do anything stupid. Don't waste this time. Have fun! But don't waste this time. In twenty years, you'll wish you hadn't.
Keep twenty years from now in mind. But don't spend all your time worrying about it.
Most of all, don't forget to call your old man. He misses you.
Okay, this is the part of the column where I say something knowing. Wise. Fatherish. The circle of life, or some such crapola.
Well, I'm not gonna. I'd just be guessing, anyway. Just repeating whatever sappy platitudes I heard in some chick flick my wife made me watch. We'll adjust, I'm sure, as we go from four kids, to three, to eventually none. Just like we adjusted on the way from no kids to four.
A mixed blessing, both ways. But I can't help thinking: more of a blessing the first time around.
Lance Burri blogs regularly via his site, The TrogloPundit.
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